Healthy Relationships
Our words are extremely important and very powerful! All relationships are based off how well you communicate with each other. Whether it’s just a simple conversation or a heated discussion, you should always walk away feeling like you understand that person and that person understands you. However, there are times where angry conversations spark and there’s a bunch of yelling and cussing and neither party is listening to the other.
“ Ever argue with someone and notice the defender is repeating back something you did not say at all; and if being honest, you have not a clue what he/she said to you?”
Did both of you decide to give up and walk away from each other- not resolving anything? Stop arguing! It's a waste of time and energy because neither one of you are listening, and for possibly hours and even days you have not gotten anywhere! There’s a more effective way to say what you want to say and make sure the other person is listening.
Here are just 3 quick tips that can help you have healthy conversations!
First, recognize your signs before you get to the “fire” words! We all have triggers, buttons, and red flags that are warning signs which can be used to help control what to say and what not to say. Stop yourself from speaking if you begin to feel intense and feel yourself getting out of control. Take a breather and stay calm. Once you are calm begin stating your views again!
If the defender is being loud and fussing over your voice, then stop talking and end the conversation. Let them know you will not be talked to in that tone. Let the other person take time away from you so they can calm down, then begin your discussion again. Remember, people treat you based on what you allow!
Do not give people the power to get you out of your character! Before you reach the "I'm bout to go clear-clean-off" level, stop and walk away! Don’t let anyone frustrate you so much that you do things or say things that you normally wouldn’t do or say. That’s giving them power over your actions and no one deserves that power except God Almighty!
"A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire." (Proverbs 15:1, MSG)
Be encouraged! Until next time.
Amber Patterson